Let’s talk about the richest monarch on Earth. Spoiler: it’s not King Charles, and it’s definitely not that guy from “The Crown.” We’re diving into a world of private jets, golden bathtubs, and enough cash to buy a small country.
The Crown Winner
The richest monarch alive today is King Maha Vajiralongkorn of Thailand. His net worth? A jaw-dropping $43 billion. Yes, that’s with a “b.” But here’s the twist: he’s not just rich; he’s fabulously weird.
King Maha inherited his fortune from his father, the beloved King Bhumibol. But he’s famous for his unique personal style. He owns a fleet of jets, including a customized Boeing 737. He also has a pet poodle named Air Chief Marshal Foo Foo—yes, the dog had a military title.
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Foo Foo was a star. The poodle wore custom military uniforms and attended royal events. When Foo Foo died in 2015, there was a four-day Buddhist funeral. King Maha had the dog cremated, and the ashes were placed in a golden urn next to royal relics.
It’s weird. It’s wonderful. And it’s peak monarch richness. You don’t get that kind of dog funeral on a salary.
The Sultan of Swagger
Right behind the King of Thailand is Sultan Hassanal Bolkiah of Brunei. He’s worth about $20 billion. He lives in the world’s largest residential palace: the Istana Nurul Iman. It has 1,788 rooms and a garage full of 7,000 cars.
His car collection includes 500 Ferraris, 600 Rolls-Royces, and a golden Lamborghini. Wait—golden? Yes, actual gold plating. The Sultan even has a fleet of private jets with gold-plated seatbelt buckles.
But here’s the fun part: he once bought a $100 million Boeing 747 just to use as a guest house. Imagine telling your visitors, “Oh, sleep in the plane. It’s fine.”
The Oil and the Oddities
Brunei’s wealth comes from oil and gas. But the Sultan also owns a horse-drawn carriage collection and a gold-plated yacht. He throws birthday parties that cost millions. One party featured a 24-karat-gold cake.
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He’s also the only monarch who has a laser vision correction clinic in his palace. Need your eyes fixed? Just pop over to the Sultan’s place.
King Charles? He’s a Bargain
By comparison, King Charles III is practically thrifty. His personal net worth is around $600 million. That’s less than the annual interest on King Maha’s bank account.
But Charles has a talking toilet. No joke—his royal loo in Birkhall has a voice that says, “The seat is warm. Please proceed.” And he owns a fleet of Bentleys that run on biodiesel from his own garden.
Still, Charles can’t buy a golden poodle funeral. Sorry, Charlie.
The Oil Kings of the Middle East
Next up: King Salman of Saudi Arabia. He’s worth around $18 billion. He vacations in a palace on wheels—a customized Airbus A380 with a full marble bathroom and a grand piano onboard.
Then there’s Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum of Dubai. He’s not a king by title, but he’s a monarch in practice. He has a $400 million yacht with a helipad and a submarine.
But the quirkiest fact? He owns a mechanical horse that costs $15 million. It trots, gallops, and even neighs in a robotic voice. Why? Because he can.
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The Vatican’s Tiny King
Don’t forget Pope Francis—he’s the monarch of Vatican City. His official net worth? Zero. But the Vatican has over $10 billion in assets, including art by Michelangelo and Raphael.
Yet Pope Francis lives in a simple guest house and owns a Toyota. He’s the anti-monarch monarch. Still, if he wanted to, he could sell one painting and buy a small country.
Why This Matters (Sort Of)
So why do we care about the richest monarch? Because it’s pure entertainment. It’s a peek into a fantasy world where dogs get funerals, jets become guest houses, and gold is a fashion choice.
It’s also a reminder: wealth is weird. And monarchies are the last dinosaurs of lavish spending. They can buy anything—except a sense of irony.
Next time you feel broke, remember: somewhere, a king is polishing his golden Lamborghini while his poodle’s ashes sit in a golden urn. And he’s probably smiling.
A Final, Bizarre Note
King Maha once owned a pet crocodile named Tong-Tong. He kept it in a palace pond. It’s unclear if the croc had a military rank.
But we’re guessing yes. Because why not? When you’re worth $43 billion, even your crocodile gets a promotion.