Let’s be honest: when you hear the phrase “richest king,” your brain probably conjures up an image of a guy in a velvet robe, sitting on a giant golden toilet, counting his money with a diamond-encrusted abacus. Well, you’re not entirely wrong. The truth is even weirder—and way more fun.
The reigning heavyweight champion of royal wealth is King Maha Vajiralongkorn of Thailand. His net worth? A cool $30 to $40 billion. Yes, with a “b.” That’s enough money to buy every single loaf of bread on Earth for like, three years. Or, more practically, every private jet in the world twice.
But wait—how did he get so rich?
Unlike your dad, who got rich by selling used cars in the 80s, this king inherited a massive empire of real estate, corporate shares, and a jewel-encrusted crown that probably costs more than your house. Thailand’s Crown Property Bureau (fancy name, huh?) holds billions in assets, and as king, he controls it all. It’s like being born into a Monopoly game where you start with all the hotels.
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Fun fact: he’s so rich that he once bought a custom gold-plated Boeing 737 for his pet poodle. That dog lived better than most humans. The poodle’s name? Air Chief Marshal Foo Foo. I’m not joking. Look it up.
The runner-up: a sultan who sits on a literal goldmine
Second place goes to Sultan Hassanal Bolkiah of Brunei. He’s worth about $28 billion. That’s like buying every single Rolex watch in existence and still having spare change for a yacht. His palace, the Istana Nurul Iman, has 1,788 rooms and a garage full of 7,000 cars—including 500 Rolls-Royces. He doesn’t drive them; he just looks at them.
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He also owns a hotel in London, the Dorchester, which is so fancy that even the doorman’s suit costs more than your first car. But here’s the kicker: he still uses a flip phone because he’s “old school.” A flip phone with a custom gold case, probably.
And don’t forget: Brunei is a tiny country with about the same population as San Diego. So basically, one guy owns a city’s worth of money. The rest of the country? They get free healthcare and no income tax. Which, honestly, is a pretty good deal if you ask me.
The dark horse: a king whose wealth is literally made of sand
Now, you might think King Salman of Saudi Arabia is on top, but he’s “only” worth about $18 billion. That’s still a “buy your own country” level of wealth, but it’s not number one. His real power is oil—the black gold that literally flows from the ground. He’s got so much oil that if you squeezed the Saudi desert, you’d probably get a Saudi latte.
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He also owns the world’s largest yacht, the “Kingdom 5KR,” which is 85 meters long. It has a helipad, a cinema, and a submarine. Yes, a submarine. Because when you’re rich, ordinary boats are for peasants.
The cameo appearance: a king with a slight ego problem
Let’s not forget Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum of Dubai. He’s worth about $14 billion, which is pocket change compared to the top three, but he’s the king of style. He owns the world’s tallest building (the Burj Khalifa), an indoor ski slope in the desert, and a private island shaped like a palm tree. His net worth is basically a flex—he built a city just to show off.
He also has a custom Boeing 747 that includes a gold-plated sink and a shower that uses Evian water. Evian! Not tap. And not even “fancy” tap. Evian. From France. At 30,000 feet.
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The biggest surprise: a king who isn’t even a king by title
Here’s where it gets spicy. The true richest “royal” in the world might actually be Prince Hans-Adam II of Liechtenstein. He’s a prince, not a king, but he rules a tiny country the size of a golf course. He’s worth about $7 billion, and he personally owns his entire country. Yeah, Liechtenstein is basically a private family estate that looks like a postcard. If he wants a new flag, he just buys one. His castle has a wine cellar with bottles older than your grandmother.
And get this: he rents out his country for corporate events. For a few million, you can have a “kingdom for a day.” Imagine the Instagram post: “Just bought a country for the weekend. NBD.”
So what’s the takeaway?
The world’s richest kings are not just rich—they are comically, obscenely, laugh-out-loud wealthy. They own things you didn’t know existed (golden poodles, anyone?). They don’t do taxes. They have palaces with more rooms than your entire neighborhood. And they all share one thing: they never, ever have to worry about rent.
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But here’s the funny part: many of them are also deeply, deeply weird. One king collects baby elephants. Another keeps 400 pet birds in his bedroom. And one has a secret bunker with a bowling alley and a sushi bar. When you have billions, normal hobbies just don’t cut it anymore.
So next time you’re stressing about your credit card bill, just remember: somewhere in a gilded palace, a man in a silk robe is feeding his dog caviar from a solid gold plate. And he’s probably thinking, “I should buy a new moon base.”
Now that’s what I call royalty.