Where Did Don Baskin Get His Money

Let’s talk about Don Baskin. Not the guy who invented the ice cream—that’s Baskin-Robbins. No, our Don Baskin is a mysterious fellow who seems to have an endless supply of cash, and everyone wants to know: Where did he get his money? Did he win the lottery? Marry a billionaire? Or does he have a hidden treasure map with an “X” that marks the spot under his swimming pool?

Spoiler alert: It’s weirder than you think. And way funnier. Buckle up, because this story involves a government cheese scam, a fleet of angry geese, and a guy who made millions selling nothing.

The Legend Begins: Don Baskin’s “Mysterious” Wealth

Don Baskin first appeared on the radar of financial weirdos back in the 1990s. He was a man of simple tastes—faded jeans, a coffee mug that said “World’s Okayest Dad,” and a bank account that looked like a Scrooge McDuck swimming pool. The problem? He had no obvious job. No inheritance from a dead uncle. No prize-winning pig.

Neighbors reported seeing him take out his trash in a $50,000 sports car. That car was also his trash can. He’d toss the garbage bags in the passenger seat and drive them to the dump, windows down, blasting show tunes. This is not a joke. I wish it were.

The “Nothing” Empire: A Genius Scam

Turns out, Don Baskin made his fortune selling nothing. Literally. In the early 2000s, he founded a company called “Baskin’s Void,” which sold empty cardboard boxes. The pitch? “You’re not buying a box. You’re buying the potential of what could be inside.” People ate it up. Artists bought them for “conceptual storage.” Rich people bought them to feel deep.

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He sold over 200,000 boxes before the FTC caught on. But here’s the kicker: when they shut him down, Don had already invested the profits into something even stranger—a goose farm. Yes, a farm for geese. Not for eggs or meat. Just geese. He called it “The Honk Sanctuary,” and it cost $10,000 a year to adopt a goose. In return, you got a photo of the goose and a notification when it pooped. This was a legitimate business.

The Government Cheese Plot Twist

Here’s where it gets unhinged. In 2009, Don Baskin was investigated by the IRS for tax evasion. They found he had claimed $3 million in deductions for “emotional support cheese.” Under questioning, he explained that he had purchased 40,000 blocks of government surplus cheese in the 1980s and stored them in a secret warehouse. He claimed the cheese was his “retirement fund.”

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“Cheese doesn’t spoil,” he told the IRS agent, “it just evolves.” The agent later admitted that the warehouse smelled like a sneaker dipped in milk. The cheese was never sold. Don still has it. He gives it as wedding gifts.

But wait—there’s evidence! A 1987 photograph shows Don shaking hands with a dairy farmer, both men wearing t-shirts that say “Cheese is the New Gold.” That photo now hangs in a small museum in Ohio, next to a jar of his actual cheese. It is guarded by a single, very bored security guard.

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The Goose Money: A Financial Empire Built on Honks

Let’s circle back to the geese. By 2015, Don Baskin’s goose farm had become a cult. People were paying him to name geese after their ex-partners. “I’ll have ‘Karen’ chased by a golden retriever,” one customer wrote in a testimonial. Don personally drove the goose-chasing truck. It was a used hearse decorated with feathers.

He also launched a line of “Goose-themed scented candles” with names like “Angry Honk” and “Pond Rage.” They sold out in three days. A single candle cost $80 and smelled exactly like wet bread and rage. I bought one. It sits on my desk. It smells like regret, but a profitable kind of regret.

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The Real Answer: A Founder of a Weird Kind of Magic

So, where did Don Baskin get his money? The boring, true answer is: he was a master of selling absurdity to bored rich people. He understood that people will pay for a story, a mystery, or a goose that’s named after your boss. His net worth is estimated at $12 million, though he only spends $12,000 a year—on cheese storage and gas for the goose hearse.

Don Baskin is still alive. He lives in a trailer park in Nevada, but it’s a trailer park where every home is a custom-built log cabin on wheels. He answers the door wearing a tuxedo T-shirt and holds a glass of milk. “I’m not rich,” he told a reporter last year. “I just have a lot of cheese and a lot of geese.”

In the end, Don Baskin’s money came from the same place all weird fortunes come from: a willingness to be the silliest person in the room. And a few million empty boxes. And 40,000 blocks of cheese. And a couple thousand angry geese. If you ever see a man offering to sell you the “concept of a sandwich,” don’t laugh. That’s Don’s new venture. And he’ll probably be a millionaire again by Tuesday.