Alright, let’s talk about something that’s been bouncing around my brain like a loose ping-pong ball. How much does Speed pay his bodyguards? You know, the big dudes who follow the streamer everywhere, looking like they just walked off the set of a heist movie. I’m not talking about just any security—I mean the guys who have to deal with fans screaming “Skibidi” at 3 AM. Seriously, what’s their hourly rate for that level of chaos?
The Guessing Game
First off, nobody knows the exact number. I googled. I asked my cousin who “knows a guy.” Even my dog gave me a blank stare. It’s a secret tighter than Speed’s grip on his water bottle during a Subathon.
But we can take some educated guesses. Really educated. Like, “I watched five YouTube videos and drank too much coffee” educated. Most celebrity bodyguards in the U.S. charge anywhere from $50 to $150 an hour. For regular folks with regular threats. But Speed? He’s not regular.
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Working for Darren Watkins Jr. means adding a “chaos multiplier.” You’re not guarding a guy who does brunch. You’re guarding a human tornado who jumps on tables, runs from fans, and once almost tripped into a pool during a live stream. That’s a special skill set.
I’d bet his top-tier bodyguards make $200 to $300 an hour. Why so high? Because they have to be fast, patient, and willing to break into a sprint at any second. Imagine doing a slow jog in a suit while a teenager screams “LET HIM COOK” in your ear. That’s a premium service.
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The “Panama” Factor
Remember the trip to Panama? When Speed got mobbed by thousands of fans? His security team had to form a flying V like they were NFL linebackers. That’s not a normal Tuesday. Those guys probably earned a fat bonus for that shift.
I’m talking hazard pay. You can’t put a price on having a fan rip your shirt because they’re trying to touch Speed’s hair. But if you could? Maybe an extra $500 a day, just for the emotional damage. Plus, they have to listen to Speed’s loud “SUIIII” celebrations on repeat. That’s a whole other kind of therapy bill.
Daily or Annual?
Do they get a salary or a daily rate? Probably a mix. I imagine a full-time security lead for Speed makes $80,000 to $120,000 a year. Plus bonuses for international trips. Plus free snacks. And maybe a signed jersey? But let’s be real—the snacks are the real currency.
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For a massive live event, like a meet-and-greet or a show, the pay spikes. I’ve heard rumors of bodyguards getting $1,000 a day for high-risk gigs. Speed’s events are high-risk for your lungs. And your patience. And your eardrums.
What’s the Perk?
Money is nice. But perks? Oh, they’re juicy. Free travel to Dubai, Japan, and random islands. All expenses paid. You get to see Speed do the “Griddy” in exotic locations. That’s a story for your grandkids. “I once guarded a guy who ate a live fish on camera. It was fine. I think.”
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Also, you get fame by association. Bodyguards for Speed get recognized by fans. Suddenly, you’re not just “big guy in black”—you’re “the guy who caught Speed when he fell backwards during the Subathon.” That’s a weird kind of VIP status. But hey, free drinks at the bar? Maybe.
The Real Cost
Here’s the funny part. Speed says in multiple streams that his security is “expensive.” He’ll joke, “My bodyguard costs more than my rent.” And he’s not lying. His rent is probably a yacht. But having a crew of four to six guys, plus a driver, plus a medic… that adds up fast.
I’d estimate his monthly security bill sits somewhere between $30,000 and $50,000. That’s for the core team. For a tour? Double it. For a week in Rio? Triple it. And add a tip for the guy who has to hold back the girl who just wants a polaroid.
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Is It Worth It?
Seriously, is it worth paying someone to watch you play Fortnite for 12 hours? For Speed? Absolutely. The guy generates millions. He’s a walking hype machine. His safety is a priority. If paying a squad of friendly giants $100k a year keeps him from getting tackled by a fan, that’s a bargain.
Plus, think of the job security. Speed is not slowing down. His bodyguards have jobs for years. They just have to be okay with being on camera, sweating through suits, and occasionally catching a stray “WHAT’S GOOD, CHAT?” to their faces. Honestly, for that money? I’d do it. And I’d bring snacks.
So, next time you see his security crew stone-faced in the background, give them a nod. They’re earning every penny. And probably sleeping like logs after every shift. You would too.