You’ve probably heard the rumor floating around the college football world: Auburn is still paying a small army of former coaches. And honestly? It sounds a little wild, right? But here’s the fun part—this isn’t just a story about buyouts and balance sheets. It’s a masterclass in life’s messy, beautiful, and often hilarious reality.
Let’s break it down. As of 2025, Auburn is reportedly paying buyouts to at least nine former head coaches and assistants. That’s almost a whole coaching staff—getting paid to not coach. You’ve got names like Gus Malzahn, Bryan Harsin, and a handful of coordinators still cashing checks while wearing sweatpants at home. It’s the ultimate “getting paid for past work” scenario, and it’s both absurd and oddly inspiring.
Why should you care? Because it’s your budget, too.
Think about it: every single one of us has a “buyout” list. Maybe it’s the gym membership you’re still paying for despite not going since January. Or the half-finished online course you swore you’d complete. Auburn’s situation is just a very public, very expensive version of the same glitch in human planning. We all commit to things that outlive their usefulness, and we all end up paying the price later.
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The difference? Auburn’s buyouts are in the tens of millions. Yours? Probably just a few awkward subscription fees. See? Suddenly your minor financial flubs don’t seem so bad. You’re basically running a lean, efficient operation compared to a major SEC program.
The real lesson: Letting go is expensive—but staying stuck costs more.
Here’s the twist that makes this topic genuinely uplifting: Auburn is still paying these coaches because they chose to move forward. Every buyout check is a receipt for a decision. They decided that the old regime, no matter how comfortable, wasn’t going to get them where they wanted to go. So they wrote the check, took the hit, and hired someone new. That’s bravery in the face of a lousy spreadsheet.
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And you can do the same thing on a smaller, way more fun scale. Tired of that hobby that drains your joy? Buy it out—quit it. Stuck in a friendship that’s more obligation than laughter? Write the emotional check and walk away. The cost of staying can be your peace of mind, your curiosity, your future. Sometimes the most joyful move is the one that looks the most expensive on paper.
Look, Auburn’s buyout list is basically a museum of “we tried that, it didn’t work, and we’re okay with it.” That’s not failure. That’s evidence of having the guts to change lanes while driving at speed. And it’s a reminder that no matter how much you’ve already paid for a mistake, you can always decide to pay a little more to get unstuck.
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So the next time you hear someone groan about “how many coaches Auburn is still paying,” just smile. They’re talking about a football program, sure. But really, they’re talking about you. About the price of growth. About the permission to say, “This isn’t working, and I’m done.”
Here’s the uplifting note: No matter how many “coaches” you’re still paying in your own life—bad habits, outdated dreams, old grudges—you are exactly where you need to be to start fresh. Auburn’s financial mess is public, but your ability to rewrite your own playbook is private and limitless. Go ahead. Learn from the Tigers. Decide today which coach you’re finally going to fire—and then enjoy the beautiful, chaotic freedom of paying for your future instead of your past.