So, let’s talk about funerals. Not the sad, weepy kind. The weird, wonderful, and sometimes hilarious kind. You know the vibe: someone passes away, and suddenly we’re all detectives, searching for obituaries.
And oh boy, did we stumble into a gem. It’s about Kathleen Robertson. A name that sounds like your neighbor who waters her petunias at dawn. But trust me, her obituary is anything but boring.
The Age Game
Kathleen’s age is the first clue. We won’t spoil the exact number here—that’s the fun part. But let’s just say she was old enough to have opinions on everything. And she did.
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Her obituary didn’t just list a date of death. It listed her passion for yelling at squirrels. Yes, squirrels. Apparently, they “stole her birdseed” and she “wasn’t having it.” Who knew a funeral notice could include a grudge against rodents?
It gets better. She left behind instructions for her “Celebration of Sarcasm.” That’s not a typo. She literally requested a party where guests roast her in puns. The only rule? No crying. Just jokes.
Why Obituaries Are Secret Goldmines
Think about it. An obituary is the last chance to talk about you. So why not make it weird? Kathleen’s family did. They wrote that she “passed away after a long battle with the remote control.” The TV never stood a chance.
Kathleen May Hope - Oldham Independent Funeral Services
She also hated funerals themselves. Found them “dreary and overrated.” So she requested her memorial be held at a bowling alley. With a cash bar. And a dress code of “tacky sweaters.” I’m not kidding.
This is why I love reading old obituaries. They’re like biographies written by drunk relatives. You get the truth, the mess, and the punchline. Kathleen’s is now a legend in my house.
The Quirky Details That Stick
Here’s a highlight: Kathleen was a champion at bingo. But she cheated. She admitted it in her obituary. “I stuffed extra bingo chips in my bra,” it read. “It worked. I’m sorry not sorry.”
Kathleen E Thompson Robertson (1922-2003) - Find a Grave Memorial
She also left a list of “Things I Will Not Miss”. Included: “People who say ‘I’ll pray for you’ instead of helping.” And “those fancy coffee drinks with names you can’t pronounce.” Her favorite drink? Instant Folgers. Black.
Want a funny detail? She demanded her guests play rock paper scissors at the wake. The winner got her collection of garden gnomes. There were twenty-seven gnomes. Each one had a tiny sign reading “Let’s Go.”
Why This is Fun to Talk About
Because death doesn’t have to be a downer. Kathleen Robertson proved that. She turned her “passing away” into a comedy show. And we’re all invited to laugh.
Obituary | Kathleen Robertson Chambers | Riley Smith & Sons Funeral
Think of it this way: most obituaries read like a résumé. “She was born. She worked. She died.” Snooze. Kathleen’s reads like a stand-up routine. “She was born. She annoyed people. She left you broke from laughing.”
Also, it’s a reminder that we can choose our legacy. She didn’t want flowers. She wanted donations to the “Squirrel Repellent Fund.” That’s a real thing. I checked.
The Punchline
So, what’s the takeaway? Live your life like you’re writing your own obituary. Make it weird. Make it raw. And for the love of all that is holy, include a joke.
Kathleen Robertson Obituary - Visitation & Funeral Information
Kathleen Robertson passed away at 89 (yes, we’re spilling the beans now). She was a widow of three years, a mother of five cats, and a part-time pirate. Yes, she dressed like a pirate every Halloween. And every Tuesday.
Her final wish? That you, the reader, buy yourself a donut. “Life’s too short to skip pastries,” she wrote. “And if you’re reading this, I’m already dead. So eat the damn donut.”
Now, go find your own Kathleen. Read those obituaries. You’ll find love, chaos, and a few stolen bingo chips. It’s the last great story we all get to tell. Make it a good one.